Just believe

Great news-I got the Labor and Delivery RN position at St. John's. It could not have come at a better time. I was seriously starting to doubt that I would ever be happy at my profession, and overall I was getting a little depressed. But, my prayers were answered and my patience rewarded, and I start June 2! How lucky am I that I get to witness miracles every time I work?
My life is full of happiness and more meaning every day. I have so many things to be thankful for. My brother is home and safe and able to finally begin a relationship with his daughter, my parents and I are closer than ever, my husband and I are closer than ever, I have beautiful friends and my son is happy and healthy. I am so blessed. But most importantly, I am steadily learning more about my personal and spiritual journey. I am so grateful to have found a church were I am comfortable and can learn about God and his purpose for me in an inviting atmosphere. Easter means so much more to me this year. When you really stop and think about all that we have, it all comes down to Jesus dying on the cross for us; He sacrificed so that we could live and speak His word. It makes me so sad and so joyful at the same time. I look forward to growing as a Christian and becoming more comfortable speaking about it.

Frustration

I've realized today that I have serious problem forgiving and forgetting. The more I read and reflect on how God wants us to live our lives and become characteristically better, the more I see how I need to fine tune my life. The problem is, is it so hard for me to forgive and forget-and sometimes I'm not sure if I even want to. When the people you love have been wronged and walked on so many times, it really makes me rethink how much I want those particular people in Daniel's life. They are not characteristically the types of people I want Daniel to associate with. Some have tried to reach out and make contact, but I balk at the chance for them so see Daniel. Am I being too stubborn or do I legitimately have good reason? I have wrestled with this issue since the day he was born, and I want to do that best thing and the Christian thing, but I don't want to put my baby in a place where I'm not even comfortable being.
On a side note, Daniel has been so so fussy today and doesn't want to sleep and I am so worn out! I wish I knew how to make him more comfortable-other than toting him around for the rest of the night. It's all I can do to get a little comfort and quiet out of him.