Happenings

Another month has flown by-especially since I've been back to work for almost 3 weeks. I'm adjusting better, but it feels like a lot of hours are wasted just trying to get back some of the sleep I loose from working nights. And trying to actually get to sleep hence the 3 am blog.

Jacob is growing so fast! He is hitting milestones at record speed and starting to show more of his personality. Ryan and I must breed serious babes though, because he sure is shy about dolling out those smiles. But, it does make for some heart warming moments when he does give them out. He can lift his chest off the ground and roll over. He still enjoys his swing and watching that mobile go round and round. It amazes me still to see a baby look so much like me. I feel like he and I have a special connection because of that. Ever since he was in the womb, I knew he was my Jacob and knew he would come out in a blaze of glory and be a spitting image of me. He is a beautiful example of God's work.

Mr. Danman is a bubbly burst of energy and high spirits as usual. Ryan and I love watching him discover and seeing his personality deepen even more. Daniel is quick to give out all of himself but he must have his "Daniel time" as well. He is such an observant and thoughtful little boy. He can still have some moments when he does not want to share the spotlight with his brother, but overall is very caring towards Jacob. No longer does he shake the swing every time Jacob is in it! I was afraid it was never going to get through his head that doing that was a no! He is 19 months now and I think that this is my favorite stage to date. He can communicate so well and everything around him seems to be amazing.

Every day I watch my boys and imagine what they will become. And every night I pray over them and ask for healthy children, strength to raise them properly, for dutiful children to both God and Ryan and myself and sweet dreams. I know that before they were even a peice of my heart, they were destined and designed by Him. I pray that I can enrich my boys lives in such a way that they too know what they can become.

I've been blog diving recently and have come across some incredibly emotional blogs. I'm drawn to them because I am a mother and because of my profession. They are all Godly women who have lost babies. My heart hurts to read them and I cry so hard every time, but I also find hope in between their lines. Even though they have been through the most unthinkable tragedy ever, the never waiver from their faith or their love of their heavenly child. It really puts me to shame. I have 2 beautiful children who are perfect and filled with so much spirit and I take what God has so graciously given me for granted. Too often I forget to thank Him for my life, my circumstances, my marriage and my children. I am blessed far more than I could ever know, than I ever deserve, but He has given me this life anyway. I am truly truly thankful.

And to all those women out there that have lost a peice of their heart, thank you for sharing your stories. Your words, your faith, your unending love for your children, it is an inspiration. Thank you.

To all my working moms out there

This past week was my first back at work. It took me about an hour to get back into the swing of things, but then it was like putting on an old shoe-comfortable and smelly (you have to be a L&D nurse to know just how much of an obvious smell amniotic fluid has). Lucky for me my first mom was a recovery. I wonder if she chose the name Jack or Gus...Anyway, all in all it was a good weekend back and all of my patients were good. Especially my Chinese mom that came in a rim and delivered natural. She was a rock star!

As I was working, though, my thoughts were always on my children-and working mothers in general. I am dedicating this blog to all those full and part timers out there who live a full time life as a mommy and then go and share themselves with complete strangers. We live an exhausted, filled to the brim kind of life with commitments and chores and tolling out every little piece of ourselves to make a comfortable and fulfilled life for our children. We do not get much credit or grand gestures, but we do it just the same because we are strong and dedicated women. Cheers to you, ladies!