Oh my gosh.

I was driving home from work this morning and noticed right before the Page extension entrance to 270 a Maryland Heights PD cruiser was driving pretty fast to get onto 270. It struck me as really odd and since I have a certain obsession with my Maryland Heights PD I paid some more attention to where it was going. As I got closer to the exit for Dorsett I noticed the cruiser and the car it was attempting to get to. This white SUV was driving erratically in the far left lane and hit the median about 3 times balancing on 2 wheels before it finally settled in the lane. I was absolutely speechless watching this all unfold before my eyes. It was like it was happening in slow motion. I could see the sparks jetting from between the car and the median and I was absolutely sure it was going to flip it was hitting the median so hard and so fast. As I exited 270 I glanced up to see if the driver was ok and it appeared that he was sitting still but the driver's side window looked pretty banged up. I contemplated stopping but there wasn't any way I was going to be able to get across traffic and another cruiser was turning around to head the opposite way on 270. I can still see the images in my mind as I write this. I wish I knew what was the precursor to all of this. A blown tire? Drinking and driving? An accident? I tried finding R's radio to listen when I got home but my men were up and I realized I would much rather spend a few moments talking and hugging them then listening in on such a bizarre event. Thank you God for watching over my vehicle and leading the events up to my departure from work in such a way that I left when I did. It was incredibly bizarre and I hope that I never have to witness such an event again.

The itch

I'm kind of getting the itch to venture out and search for new employment. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do and definitely want to stay in maternal/women/children but I really want something more Mon-Fri, weekends off, no holidays. I need a little more stability. Anyone know of that? Anyone?

Peace

So, the issues with the inlaws still aren't completely resolved but I did make some headway with my MIL and feel better about that. However, Ryan's aunt is still refusing to talk even after a 3rd attempt at trying to reach out to her so I am officially done with that. If I take away anything from this experience is that it is strengthening my relationship with God. I'm reading more of my Bible more regularly and calling on Him more and I have to say that that is what is truly getting my through all of this. In a time of turmoil, He is my constant and that is so reassuring. I can feel Him working peace on my heart and I know it will all be ok.

My bright spots ♥

Daniel and Jake are growing up so fast! Just this past week Jake has learned to clap his hands, wave and play even more with his brother. It is so cute to watch them in the bathtub together. Daniel "splish splashes" and then Jake repeats it and laughs as he's splashing his brother. The cycle repeats and eventually we end up with a very wet Momma. Daniel is still increasing his vocab, counting to ten and saying his ABC's (but not always in order :) I love it. I love watching them learn new things. Daniel is also into hugs right now and I can't say that I mind.

R and I even got to spend some quality time last night watching a movie. Couples Retreat was a bore, but it was nice spending time with him. And, he let me sleep in today without arguement. I love my man ♥

After everything that has happened this past week, it's so nice to sit back and watch the things that truly matter in life.

Oh man, oh man, oh man.

Remember when I said in a previous post how I would love to be a mommy again? Well, Ryan and I about pooped our pants when we thought I saw a faint pink line on a pregnancy test last night. Even though I am not due to start until the 24th, I felt like I could possibly be pregnant and wanted a little reassurance. And, yes, I know that testing a few days before you start doesn't guarantee that a negative test is truly negative, I take 2 negatives as a positive. I laid in bed for awhile last night going through my head all the rearranging we would have to do, the extra things we would need to buy and the sleepless nights we would endure and it made me realize that we were not in that place as of yet. I would absolutely love another child, but I want to spend a little more quality time with the babies I have now. I also want to redecorate a few things in our home and another baby room isn't quite the redecorating I want to do yet.

On the flip side, if God so wants me to have another child, then that is His will, but maybe He will take into account my earthly fears and not take me to an early grave :) Or, rather, Ryan because I have a tendency to adapt a little better than he.

So, the countdown begins until the 24th. I still feel different but I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

So, I've all but given up on the 365 days of photos. The beginning of February was a hard month for our household. Ryan was sick and then I got strep and it took me too long to recover from that so my picture taking was pretty much nil. All is well though, I can still have 365 days of photos minus a week or two. Of course, if I wanted to be really honest, it's just another project that I couldn't complete. I have a real problem with sticking things out. That's probably why I haven't lost weight. Haha.

These past few days have been really trying on me. Daniel has been in this hitting phase and it's wearing thin. As much as I hate to admit it, he got popped on the hiney the other day. I was completely at my wits end and nothing I was doing was working. I hated that I had to resort to that, especially since I'm trying to teach him not to hit, but it was done and he got the point that it was no longer a game. And twice he's pushed Jacob down. Sigh. Other than that he's been a doll. Yesterday and today he's said he's needed to peepee on the potty so I've placed him on it. Nothing happened, but I guess I'm headed out the the ol' Target to get a potty chair. Maybe on my next stretch of days off, we can experiment with the chair. It's going to be so weird when he is potty trained.

Jake is cracking us up recently. He is into imitating everything and bobs his head from side to side. He is talking a lot more now, but still no "mama" haha. He tried so hard to get up on all fours, but can't quite make it. I imagine maybe in a month or so, he'll crawl. I'm not too worried. Daniel was slow to move and now I can't get him to stop! It's kind of nice still having a "baby" in the house. Once he's mobile, I have a feeling those 2 are going to be unstoppable.

Ryan and I have had a rough patch the last few days. I won't go into specifics, but please pray we can overcome this obstacle. We need to be a team together.

A lot of people are having babies and getting pregnant right now and it's pulling on my momma heart strings. I miss being pregnant and the bond I have with my babies in the womb. However, unlike when Daniel was 8 months, there is no bun in the oven over here. I'm just too tired to have another baby. Plus, we're out of rooms. I'm going to fight this urge as long as possible, people!

1/22/10-1/24/10

OK, so technically I am missing the 21st, but the picture was too dark to resemble anything, but the thought was there!

Conversing in their crib in the AM

Ah, the joys of teaching Jake how to use the sippy cup

He still likes this toy..except, he doesn't realize he's a tad too big for it now

Such a boy playing with his cars :)