Potty training...etc

We have been such a busy household recently-with lots of changes. The biggest to occur is Daniel is now potty training! About two weeks ago as I was getting him ready for bed he looked up at me and said, 'Mommy, take off my diaper, I want to use the potty', and so we did and he did! Since then we've been in bog boy underwear and aside from a few accidents has done pretty well in keeping his pants dry. It's still a new learning process for all of us, and a lot of patience and extra time on my part (something that fails to get mentioned in potty training literature) with having to watch Jake and make sure we get Daniel on the potty in a timely manner, but oh so worth it. I do still have a lot an anxiety with Daniel going to the potty in public with Jake in tow, but I can't live my life in one hour increments all the time. We're all super proud of him and you can tell he's proud of himself too. He loves wearing his big boy underwear and making bubbles. Just as long as we don't have a repeat of placing hands in said bubbles (gag, I know)I'm all for whatever gets him excited to go. And as far as my opinion on potty training goes, it really is whenever they are ready. We've made going on the potty fun, and Daniel has watched and played with his potty and we've encouraged him but it's really all about their timing. Or, a threat made be me when I told him once he turned 3 I wasn't going to change his diaper anymore ;)

Jake is doing so well, too. He's trying to put more words together and is becoming quite the entertainer. He loves to spin around and around and his newest game is to stand on our bed and "fall down" onto the pillows. He is such a crack up.


And because I have fallen waaay behind, here is Day 16: What I want to do in the next 5 years. Go on a Honeymoon! R and I weren't able to when we got married because of new jobs and then 2 children later and I would love to spend some time with just him. We tend to lose the husband/wife aspect and live more in the mommy/daddy.

A wonderful goal!

http://rameelinlarson.blogspot.com/2010/09/weigh-in-wednesday-challenge.html




I'm logging my hours, how about you?

Growing up

They say 15 months is the milestone for babies. This month little tots realize they can move around at their will and those chubby little appendages aren't just for grabbing onto mommy anymore. Jake has entered into his 15 month like a tornado. (Which really shouldn't surprise me since he is developing the temperament of one-that kid can have a fit.) He is trying so very hard to run, knows exactly what toys he wants and won't let anything-or any brother-stand in his way and wants down as soon as he is up. His hand-eye coordination is getting more defined too. He absolutely loves his blocks and can stack 4 at a time. His favorite word? Still Mommy. We're working on ball, hat and baby. And the boy has definitely got an arm. His Diego ball goes flying. He is really enjoying his newfound freedom and sometimes you can see the gears turning in his head when he encounters new things. He's changing into a totally different baby and friend for his brother.

Speaking of bro, we've been working on Daniel's letter writing. He's very good at making D's-or lopsided circles ;) The mommy in me says the letter "D", the practical one in me says circle, but he's getting the rudimentary skill down. His new favorite game is squeezing himself into the cabinet and "going night night". We're also enjoying trips to the library. He loves carrying the books and putting them in the collection box. And running up and down the shelves. We're working on that. It doesn't help that he can catch me at a tired moment and I just let him go for a bit. Is that bad?

I may be getting a little more growing up as well. It's still early stages so I don't want to mention a whole lot, but I do pray it works for the best. God's got my back ;)

Hanging out with Grandma Chris and jamming on Guitar Hero

Playing nicely...although shortly after this I think Daniel took the shopping cart away

Such balance

My lease on life

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness. 2 Timothy 3:16

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. 1 John 5:6

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

A blogger that I read (http://rameelinlarson.blogspot.com/) recently posted her thoughts on her faith and belief system and it really spoke to me. The past few days I've been able to reflect on my faith and what I believe and both these scriptures are so near and dear to my heart. Honestly, people think and ask what makes me so certain that He is real and worthy and how can I fully place my life into something not physically present and this is what I turn to. This is my rock, He is my rock. Without Him and his word, I am floundering in the darkness, my feet are not planted on the ground and I lose my way. I feel like I am drowning and cannot catch my breath sometimes. It's no secret that I have a ton on my mind and in my life and without his friendship and advice I would be a mental and physical mess. The devil tries and invades my thoughts and tries to make my life hectic and unfulfilled and I just have to push those thoughts away and remember He will not give me more than I can handle and He is always in my corner. He gave me free will and with that I choose to believe He guides my life-my path and that of my family.

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see Hebrews 11:1

* * *

In other news, Jake is walking more and more now and it is the absolute cutest thing in the entire world. He is growing so fast. As is his hair which is why I've decided to bite the bullet and get him a haircut and chop those beautiful curls :( He and Daniel are also interacting a lot more and it is so cute to watch; it's like puppies playing. Jake even bites like one. Mr. Daniel continues to amaze us and a few weeks ago recited his entire alphabet to us. We're working on learning to read his name.

Memories

With all the business that Ryan and I have had in June, it has really felt like our family hasn't been whole in awhile. This post is to remind me of our special day today and of our reconnection of a family. Ryan worked from 10p-2a last night and I really thought he was going to sleep in longer than 8:45, but he came downstairs bright eyed. We had our day planned, grocery shopping and cleaning, but then he suggests going to get Jilly's cupcakes and La Pizza (both award winnng food and both we've never tried) and having a picnic with the boys. Needless to say, I jumped at that chance for some family bonding. We loaded up the boys, got our treats and relaxed as a family and it was so needed. In the midst of all the chaos and choring and working, we all got to spend some quality time together and it felt great. My boys are growing fast (too fast sometimes) and I really needed this kind of day.

Scale says I gained 3 lbs back this week. Feels like it too. Just kinda bummed this week. Keeping a low profile.

Updates

Down another 3 lbs. Sadly, back down to the weight I normally am. BUT, I know I can lose weight so that is encouraging. Now I just have to figure in more exercise.

This past week my brother and his family have been in town. It's been so nice to see them all-even if I did have to work 3 days this week. I haven't seen my niece in a year and a half but she warmed up so quickly to me. I love her to pieces. She is such a loving, independent, rambunctious child! She is also very delicate and soft which is quite a change from my broad and thick men. It's also been so enjoyable seeing Daniel and Jake interact with her. Normally, Daniel is my quiet observer and more jealous of the 2 boys but he's loving having a playmate and has no qualms about me playing with Sophia. Jake, on the other hand, has been exhibiting a bit of a jealous streak and is constantly wanting to be held. It could possibly be due to teething though. His poor gums are swollen. Oh well, any excuse to cuddle with my guy is a good one. On the same token, I haven't seen my brother in over a year as well and it came to be quite a shock when I did see him for the first time. Sadly, sometimes I forget I have a brother-briefly!-only because he isn't here day to day. I've forgotten how much he looks like my dad. It's comforting to feel like the family is complete.

I've also been thinking about my own parenting style. In no way is any other parenting style wrong from mine or better, I've just had time to evaluate differences. I've been reading other blogs and articles categorizing parenting and not matter how confident you are in your skills sometimes your beliefs can get shaken up a bit and you can either justify what you're doing and know it's what is right for your family, or you can reevaluate what you're doing and possibly even change course.

I know that there isn't one specific article that can explain how I rear my children, but rather it's from a collection. From day 1 (or, the day beginning when I found out I was having boys) I have known I wanted men like Ryan. Strong, bold, moral and tall. (The last is a joke-sortof.) I also knew I wanted my boys to grow up being respectful to woman and compassionate in love and life. I also knew I would need to parent to their personalities as well. So, I parent with a firm hand and big heart. Ryan parents with a firmer hand which probably balances me out when I give in :) I am teaching my boys to clean up after themselves, that grooming makes for a clean body and soul, to respect our bodies and our family and to honor God and mommy and daddy. I am not shy with affection for the boys because I want them to know they are in a safe place. Plus, they're just so darn adorable. Granted, there are plenty of times when I feel like a broken record after having repeated myself a million times, but it's so worth it when Daniel begins cleaning up without being told (Jake's only 13 months so not a whole lot of that going on ;), they lovingly give a baby doll care or interact in our prayers.

As far as parenting their personalities, Daniel is my shy observer and is so intense. He is independent and very sensitive. I have to remember to let him test himself but calmly step in when he's being destructive. He gets very nervous when he is being reprimanded so I find mymself speaking quietly and getting down to his level. He is a moody man too and most often times wakes up from his naps whining and out of sorts. I know that he is a boy who needs alone time to regroup. Ryan and I had a lot of trial and error before figuring that. Now, we rarely get such a huge tantrum as before. Jake is my light. He is rarely in a bad mood, except when he's teething or hungry. He is still learning and doesn't understand much outside of himself, but from day one he has been the easy natured and laid back baby. They are both a nice complement for each other. Jake seems mischevious and I know sooner or later, my hands are going to be full. Something tells me he'll see a lot of the time out corner.

My parenting isn't rocket science and it has no tricks bells or whistles, but it bonds well with our household and my boys and that is all that matters in the long run. I am grooming my men to be leaders and while the task seems taunting at times, I feel in my heart they will be the type of men Ryan and I would be proud of.

Weight update

As of last week (I haven't weighed myself today as of yet) I have lost 3 lbs. I admit I've been a little more lax this week (maybe why I have not weighed myself) but I am joyful that it is possible for me to drop my gut :)

While listening to the radio the other day, a question was posed as to what we mean when we say we "can't" do something. In reality when we say we "can't" do something it really means we "won't". As in, we "won't" atleast attempt to see if we can. Or, we save it for another day or don't have the patience to wait for the result, so why do it? I find myself stuck a lot in the "won't" rut. Given the right resources and time (all of which I know I can find) I can do a lot of what I say I can't. It's all about mentality and support.

Given the fact that I am trying to lose weight, that conversation stuck with me. I have one bad week and then think I "can't" lose weight, but I really "won't" attempt. It's a war between myself and food, and I really want to win! So, this is my new mantra; something that will keep me motivated. I no longer "won't" do something about my weight, because I know I "can".

Finally I am doing it

I wouldn't say I am necessarily disgusted by what I see in the mirror, but when my clothes and wedding bands are starting to get a little tight-especially my scrubs for work!-it's time I do something about it. And, to hold myself more accountable, I am putting my weight loss goals on my blog. I rejoined sparkpeople.com to track my calories and work out. My goal as of now is to lose 15 lbs by mid July (which totals to about 2 lbs/week).

To jump start, R and I have decided to make June a no eat out month; not only for our budget, but for our bodies as well. Honestly, I am a little excited to see if we can do it. I also am making my trips to Target a few less but that is another post entirely. I also realized way back when almost 7 years ago!) in addition to playing tennis 5-6 days/week in highschool I walked 2 miles. The joys of living less than a mile from the school. Realistically, I know I will not be playing tennis, but I can initiate my work out by walking 2 miles/day. Once in the am and then in the pm. I realize working nights might make this a little more difficult, but something I can tweak later. Maybe I will just have to work doubly as hard at work ;)

So, there is it in plain type. I've started my goal to lose and I really hope I stick with it!


****Had to add this somwhere cuz it was too darn cute. Daniel wanted to go on the "alligator" yesterday and we couldn't figure out what he wanted. Then we walked past the elevator and he said it again. He calls the elevator the alligator. So cute!****

A day in the life...

7:30 I awaken to the sounds of Daniel and Jake in their cribs. Daniel is typically screaming to get out and Jake is talking to himself

8:00-9:00 We are dressed and feed. Handy Manny and Imagination Movers are playing in the background. This gives me a chance to open my eyes, check email and eat as well.

9:00-10:00 Attempting to entertain 2 rambunctious boys. We play, we read, we color, we cry for snacks, we beg to go outside and to the park. Jake goes down for a mini nap around 10:00. Continue to ask for food and park from Daniel. I attempt to straighten up the house and throw in a load of laundry.

11:00-11:45 Jake is up and to the park we go. We swing (a lot) and slide. Daniel attempts to run into the street and usually by that time, park time is over.

12:00-12:30 Lunch. Nap time is almost here!

12:45-1:30 or 2:00 Sanctuary! Attempt to clean myself up, the house or just spend some time in quiet. If it is a work day, I nap as well.

2:00-4:30 See 9:00-10:00 I wonder how much longer I can entertain children. Still attempting to clean up the house

5:00-6:00 The bewitching hour. Kids are hungry and starting to get tired. Trying to make dinner. One of these days I'll figure out how to make a bunch of meals beforehand :)

6:30-7:00 Bath time! Kiddos splash around-incidentally, I get a bath too :). Naked run around time then pjs on for a little chill time.

7:30-8:00 Jake in bed. Book read. Daniel in bed. Book read and books in bed with him. A busy day, but worth every minute.

There are of course variations depending on the day of the week, but overall that is my day. It seems longer putting it in writing. I'll miss it all when they start going back to school.

In other news, I tried Jake in the back carrier design of my Ergo and it was a success! Typically we do side carry. I did feel a little like a momma with a monkey on my back but his weight was evenly spread out and my hands were free! Best purchase I ever made! Oh, and the 3 dollar washer/dryer Fisher Price toy I found at a yard sale Saturday. Daniel loves doing his "chaundry".
We all tried out a "new" restaurant yesterday. It was from Diners, Drive ins and Dives. Apparently, there are other locations but we tried the most authentic...right in the city. Sweetie Pies is some southern home cooking. Good, awkward, but good.

Jacob Ryan

My second born. My little green eyed, curly haired sloppy slobbery grin-giving, second born.
It makes sense that I found out your daddy and I were pregnant with you at St. John's and that 34 weeks later you would be born there. I always knew you would be my Jacob Ryan even if daddy held out till the last minute on agreeing to your name. You are so loved by us and your not so bigger brother. My pregnancy with you was uncomplicated and very enjoyable. Maybe that's why you decided to come out with a bang...

You were born on May 14th, 2009 at 12:27 pm. I like to joke that I was actually getting paid to labor at home with you because I was paid on stand by from work on the 13th. I started contracting at 12:30 that morning and decided around 2:30 it was time to wake the troops and head to the hospital. I wasn't very uncomfortable at that point, just really anxious to meet you. Grandma watched your brother and daddy and I headed to St. John's. It was raining much like it is now. All the girls were excited to see I was actually in labor and decorated our room in celebration of your birth. We had my water broken at 8:00 and started the process of initiating the pitocin. Daddy and I took a much needed nap and by the time I woke at 11:30 I was dilated to a 7. Things really started to progress from there. Soon I was feeling pressure and you were moving on down whether the doctor was there or not. My nurses ended up holding you in until the doctor arrived-luckily just time because as soon as I rolled over, you were out. They didn't even have time to gown and glove! From the first moment I saw you, I was in love with you. You came out screaming but calmed down as soon as you were placed on my chest. I was in awe of your dark hair. You weighed 7lb 3oz and you were 20.25 inches long. You were-and still are-the most calm and happy baby. Your daddy and I are very blessed to have you as our second son. You and your brother are great friends and laugh at each other all the time. You are a perfect fit to our family. We love you, baby.

It's been a loong time....

I know, I know, it seems I've taken a hiatus from all things internet related. Shocking, I know. It's not to say that my Facebook, blogger and mommy board consume my every waking hour, but spending a little less time here made for more time out there. And by out there, I mean my front yard. Ryan and I are in the process of planting strawberry plants where the evil thorn bushes once were.

*Side note: Whoever thought that rock was decorative and enjoyable has not spent 3 days digging out said rock. I digress.*

It's been back breaking, tedious work but I would not change it for anything. Working alongside my husband and watching my children explore the front yard (and occasionally attempt to run in to the street-Daniel) has been refreshing. R and I are tackling a project together and working side by side to better our front yard and yield (hopefully!) strawberries. It's filled me with great joy and accomplishment. This is good considering we've been dealing with Grandma Nancy's hosital stay. I won't go into too much detail but we're all praying for a healthy recovery. She has a long ways yet, but we're hopeful.

The boys have been great-for the most part. There are still plenty of moments in my day when Daniel exceeds my patience and I really have to step back and take a breather (and am still working on stretching my patience more) but it is so fun to watch them. Jake especially. I think my favorite age to date is 1 year old. They're mobile, inquisitive and wanting to test boundaries and it so much fun to see them connect. Jake has taken to saying "vroom, vroom" when he plays with his cars and it cracks us up. Daniel has also become more interactive with his little brother and it is so heart warming to watch them play together. Daniel gets a big kick out of making Jake laugh.

On a more serious note, it's not a secret that I have struggled with my faith. Well, not so much struggled in believing in Him, but finding the time and energy to give more of myself to Him. I've been reading 'Real moms, Real Jesus' and it's really helped me take a moment to analyze myself, my faith and my role as a mother. I have been connecting with my Bible more and my spiritual self and relying more on prayer to get me through tougher times and I can feel the change within me. It's nice. Also, there have been changes around me that further deepen my faith. R can call it coincidence or hard work on our part, I call it faith. Believe me, we've had that discussion. Jake no longer needs surgery and we've been able to refinance our house. Little changes to some, but well needed to us.

I leave this now with some newer pictures of my men. Tomorrow I will be sure to post because my little Jake turns 1!!!! Hard to imagine a year ago today I was still pregnant with him..

My Mother's day gifts

Daniel helping cut grass


My men ♥

Spring!

Spring is here and so are allergies; stuffy noses, runny noses and itchy eyes. But, along with those almost unendurable symptoms are sunshine, playgrounds, smiles, sunscreen, tanned arms and longer days and for that, I am so grateful. Some people may think that winter and snow is like a pristine and clean covering over the earth, washing away the old and blanketing with new, but I feel spring is that newness. New buds on the trees, new flowers popping through the ground, new experiences outside with my kids. By far one of my favorite times of the year. I love the feeling of being rewashed and rejuvenated. I love watching my children run and play and laugh so carefree. I love opening my windows to let in cool spring breezes and spring smells. It is this time that I am espeically thankful to God for giving me all that I have. Thankful to Him that He loves us so much and wanted to share with us His creation. For being able to step outside my home and see all the beautiful life surrounding mine. Glory to Him in the highest. Thank you Father that every good and perfect gift is from above, and comes down from You, Father. (James 1:17).

Oh my gosh.

I was driving home from work this morning and noticed right before the Page extension entrance to 270 a Maryland Heights PD cruiser was driving pretty fast to get onto 270. It struck me as really odd and since I have a certain obsession with my Maryland Heights PD I paid some more attention to where it was going. As I got closer to the exit for Dorsett I noticed the cruiser and the car it was attempting to get to. This white SUV was driving erratically in the far left lane and hit the median about 3 times balancing on 2 wheels before it finally settled in the lane. I was absolutely speechless watching this all unfold before my eyes. It was like it was happening in slow motion. I could see the sparks jetting from between the car and the median and I was absolutely sure it was going to flip it was hitting the median so hard and so fast. As I exited 270 I glanced up to see if the driver was ok and it appeared that he was sitting still but the driver's side window looked pretty banged up. I contemplated stopping but there wasn't any way I was going to be able to get across traffic and another cruiser was turning around to head the opposite way on 270. I can still see the images in my mind as I write this. I wish I knew what was the precursor to all of this. A blown tire? Drinking and driving? An accident? I tried finding R's radio to listen when I got home but my men were up and I realized I would much rather spend a few moments talking and hugging them then listening in on such a bizarre event. Thank you God for watching over my vehicle and leading the events up to my departure from work in such a way that I left when I did. It was incredibly bizarre and I hope that I never have to witness such an event again.

The itch

I'm kind of getting the itch to venture out and search for new employment. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do and definitely want to stay in maternal/women/children but I really want something more Mon-Fri, weekends off, no holidays. I need a little more stability. Anyone know of that? Anyone?

Peace

So, the issues with the inlaws still aren't completely resolved but I did make some headway with my MIL and feel better about that. However, Ryan's aunt is still refusing to talk even after a 3rd attempt at trying to reach out to her so I am officially done with that. If I take away anything from this experience is that it is strengthening my relationship with God. I'm reading more of my Bible more regularly and calling on Him more and I have to say that that is what is truly getting my through all of this. In a time of turmoil, He is my constant and that is so reassuring. I can feel Him working peace on my heart and I know it will all be ok.

My bright spots ♥

Daniel and Jake are growing up so fast! Just this past week Jake has learned to clap his hands, wave and play even more with his brother. It is so cute to watch them in the bathtub together. Daniel "splish splashes" and then Jake repeats it and laughs as he's splashing his brother. The cycle repeats and eventually we end up with a very wet Momma. Daniel is still increasing his vocab, counting to ten and saying his ABC's (but not always in order :) I love it. I love watching them learn new things. Daniel is also into hugs right now and I can't say that I mind.

R and I even got to spend some quality time last night watching a movie. Couples Retreat was a bore, but it was nice spending time with him. And, he let me sleep in today without arguement. I love my man ♥

After everything that has happened this past week, it's so nice to sit back and watch the things that truly matter in life.

Oh man, oh man, oh man.

Remember when I said in a previous post how I would love to be a mommy again? Well, Ryan and I about pooped our pants when we thought I saw a faint pink line on a pregnancy test last night. Even though I am not due to start until the 24th, I felt like I could possibly be pregnant and wanted a little reassurance. And, yes, I know that testing a few days before you start doesn't guarantee that a negative test is truly negative, I take 2 negatives as a positive. I laid in bed for awhile last night going through my head all the rearranging we would have to do, the extra things we would need to buy and the sleepless nights we would endure and it made me realize that we were not in that place as of yet. I would absolutely love another child, but I want to spend a little more quality time with the babies I have now. I also want to redecorate a few things in our home and another baby room isn't quite the redecorating I want to do yet.

On the flip side, if God so wants me to have another child, then that is His will, but maybe He will take into account my earthly fears and not take me to an early grave :) Or, rather, Ryan because I have a tendency to adapt a little better than he.

So, the countdown begins until the 24th. I still feel different but I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

So, I've all but given up on the 365 days of photos. The beginning of February was a hard month for our household. Ryan was sick and then I got strep and it took me too long to recover from that so my picture taking was pretty much nil. All is well though, I can still have 365 days of photos minus a week or two. Of course, if I wanted to be really honest, it's just another project that I couldn't complete. I have a real problem with sticking things out. That's probably why I haven't lost weight. Haha.

These past few days have been really trying on me. Daniel has been in this hitting phase and it's wearing thin. As much as I hate to admit it, he got popped on the hiney the other day. I was completely at my wits end and nothing I was doing was working. I hated that I had to resort to that, especially since I'm trying to teach him not to hit, but it was done and he got the point that it was no longer a game. And twice he's pushed Jacob down. Sigh. Other than that he's been a doll. Yesterday and today he's said he's needed to peepee on the potty so I've placed him on it. Nothing happened, but I guess I'm headed out the the ol' Target to get a potty chair. Maybe on my next stretch of days off, we can experiment with the chair. It's going to be so weird when he is potty trained.

Jake is cracking us up recently. He is into imitating everything and bobs his head from side to side. He is talking a lot more now, but still no "mama" haha. He tried so hard to get up on all fours, but can't quite make it. I imagine maybe in a month or so, he'll crawl. I'm not too worried. Daniel was slow to move and now I can't get him to stop! It's kind of nice still having a "baby" in the house. Once he's mobile, I have a feeling those 2 are going to be unstoppable.

Ryan and I have had a rough patch the last few days. I won't go into specifics, but please pray we can overcome this obstacle. We need to be a team together.

A lot of people are having babies and getting pregnant right now and it's pulling on my momma heart strings. I miss being pregnant and the bond I have with my babies in the womb. However, unlike when Daniel was 8 months, there is no bun in the oven over here. I'm just too tired to have another baby. Plus, we're out of rooms. I'm going to fight this urge as long as possible, people!

1/22/10-1/24/10

OK, so technically I am missing the 21st, but the picture was too dark to resemble anything, but the thought was there!

Conversing in their crib in the AM

Ah, the joys of teaching Jake how to use the sippy cup

He still likes this toy..except, he doesn't realize he's a tad too big for it now

Such a boy playing with his cars :)